Only in Indiana!

Okay, so being out here in Indiana hasn't been all that bad. Sure primetime TV is later and the kids like both hardcore rap and country, but really I can handle all that. Mostly the people are just like people from everywhere else. A few things have surprised me though... Hardee's special of fried bologna biscuits, their insistence on driving slow because it's raining, and the fact that the kids care more about animals being killed than people. But, like I said, I can live with all that. Friday though, I was more than a little appaled at the cultural ineptitude of Hoosiers.

For my birthday my father-in-law sent me some money so instead of buying more clothes with it, I decided I wanted to do something fun. Chicago the Musical was showing at a downtown theater. I convinced Brad to go with me and I spent the week anticipating Friday's arrival. We got dressed up and headed our way downtown to the theater. Upon arrival Brad was worried we didn't get dressed up enough because we saw a few people in suits and dresses, but I assured him that what we wore was just fine. That was the early crowd. A few minutes before we could be seated the late crowd started rolling in and they were a whole other story. Colts sweatshirts, tennis shoes, and holey jeans (not the nice trendy ones either). Then we see them coming back from the concession stands. Giant cans of beer, drinks in plastic dixie cups, hot dogs, and nachos! NACHOS! At a Broadway musical! I was just waiting for them to start the play with the national anthem and an announcer to shout "Play Ball!" Was there no cultural awareness? Pacers games are much cheaper than the theater, why weren't they there?

Okay okay, I tell myself as the twentyth person walks to their seat nachos and hot dogs in hand, "calm down." Then the show starts with all that jazz. Lovely. Until the lady behind me starts singing! Actually out loud singing the songs, like she was on stage! I didn't spend money to hear some lady singing "All that Jazz." I was freaking out! Then apparently she knew someone in the show so she spend the rest of the next two songs pointing out the guy to her husband. "oh there he is" and "oh there he is again." I couldn't take it. Eventually she stopped and I could enjoy the play, but just wait... it gets better. The rows in front of us were empty and part of the way through the first act two big men came and sat in the seats. That was fine until they started KISSING! I think I am a fairly open minded person but I do not come to the theater to watch people make out. Gossip girl is free on TV. Between their overly loud kissing they proceeded to talk unceasingly. Their low rumbling voices were all I could hear. Finally a lady leaned forward and asked them to stop talking and they stormed out. The fantastic beer smell following in their wake.

At intermission we moved away from talking/singing lady and found out that the actors actually sounded great by themselves. We had a very uneventful second act, which was lovely. Until the play ended. The actors came out to make their bows and their was a mad dash to get out the doors. The aisles were packed and the actors were still on stage! No class. Lets just say I was a little disgusted at the theater behavior of my dear Hoosiers. They should stick to sporting events.